today i got some startling feedback, am still chewing it over, trying to figure what it means and how best to tackle to it. safe to confess though that i am a little lost and more than a little surprised. one lives and learns i suppose.
was away in the cold cold north on work and came back with a massive cold and a sore throat. but it was a good trip work-wise and also personally.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
free advice?
i confess, i am not a natural at spouting words of advice.
it's not that i can't. it's just that i cannot simply parachute into someone's situation and tell them how to handle it - i believe it may be rather insulting to be at the receiving end. nothing, well almost nothing gets my goat faster than people offering unsolicited advice to others.
being well brought up and naturally civil though, if i get free and unasked for advice, i grin and bear it and usually even heed the bits that sound good. so my problem is not with the advice bit, it is with the 'unsolicited' bit.
and my problem is not so much with the receiving bit, as it is with the giving bit.
i would rather watch someone fail than give them unsolicited advice.
which sounds weird, even to me. but i believe that each one of us makes the best choices possible given the situation. you know yourself the best, you know your strengths, your weaknesses, your constraints, your aspirations, and most importantly, you are the one who lives with your choices and their consequences.
if i am asked for advice, i promise i do my very best, i take more efforts than i would for myself, and i will try my best to figure out the best possible thing to do. but no, not unless i am actually asked for it.
it's not that i can't. it's just that i cannot simply parachute into someone's situation and tell them how to handle it - i believe it may be rather insulting to be at the receiving end. nothing, well almost nothing gets my goat faster than people offering unsolicited advice to others.
being well brought up and naturally civil though, if i get free and unasked for advice, i grin and bear it and usually even heed the bits that sound good. so my problem is not with the advice bit, it is with the 'unsolicited' bit.
and my problem is not so much with the receiving bit, as it is with the giving bit.
i would rather watch someone fail than give them unsolicited advice.
which sounds weird, even to me. but i believe that each one of us makes the best choices possible given the situation. you know yourself the best, you know your strengths, your weaknesses, your constraints, your aspirations, and most importantly, you are the one who lives with your choices and their consequences.
if i am asked for advice, i promise i do my very best, i take more efforts than i would for myself, and i will try my best to figure out the best possible thing to do. but no, not unless i am actually asked for it.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
life is a .... cycle?
i had a sneaking suspicion that this is how things would pan out. nothing would happen before january and both the things i am waiting for would happen around the same time. the libran in me will then proceed to endlessly debate, consider, contemplate, discuss, revisit, evaluate till a decision is reached.
secretly though, the decision is already skewed in one direction. the main and probably only thing, holding me back is sheer inertia.
and about three thousand two hundred and eighty seven tiny little pinpricks of doubt. can i do this? can i do this well? will i be able to lead? inspire? earn respect? do i have what it takes? am i good enough? what if? what if i fail miserably? what if i simply can't cope? what if i have no life left? what next? how will it work? how can i make it work? how can i know now what can go wrong? will this be enough? how much is enough any way? aaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh
and this is only the beginning of the dilemma.
secretly though, the decision is already skewed in one direction. the main and probably only thing, holding me back is sheer inertia.
and about three thousand two hundred and eighty seven tiny little pinpricks of doubt. can i do this? can i do this well? will i be able to lead? inspire? earn respect? do i have what it takes? am i good enough? what if? what if i fail miserably? what if i simply can't cope? what if i have no life left? what next? how will it work? how can i make it work? how can i know now what can go wrong? will this be enough? how much is enough any way? aaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh
and this is only the beginning of the dilemma.
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